So I just need to write everything down. If people read me, that's cool. I hope that I can be an inspiration.
Today it is pretty cold outside. I woke up and tried to find a sweater to wear and that is when the problem started. None of my clothes fit me anymore.
For background information, I haven't always struggled with my weight. In fact, as a baby they were doing everything they could to try and make me gain weight.
Lets go year by year:
2005: Started high school at 102lb. I was 5'3".
2006: Had grown an inch and put on 20 lb. Still pretty normal weight.
2007: Junior year I had a falling out with my main group of friends. I was pretty depressed about it and had a lot more time to eat. Went up to 145lb. This is where it started to get hard.
2008: Senior year. Made a few more friends, less depressed, and maintaining. I might have gone up and down 5lb but pretty much stayed the same. Definitely started feeling more confident about my body.
Summer of '08 before college: First boy to tell me that if I lost like 20lb, I would be "so hot". Began starving myself. Lost about 10lb before I stopped. 135lb.
2009: Freshman year of college. Moved away from home and started eating the good ol' country cookin' from the cafeteria. Back up to 150. Freshman 15.
January 2010: Got mono. Don't kiss boys people. It's terrible. Too tired to eat and lost 25lb in three weeks. 125lb.
April 2010: Recovery. Went back up to 140lb. Felt healthier.
Summer 2010: Went back home to no friends and a nanny job involving lots of fast food. 155lb at end of summer.
Christmas 2010: New boyfriend. Felt so happy with him. He made me love my body again. Didn't comment on my weight which gave me the confidence to work out more. Went down to 145lb. Felt good.
March 2011: Dumped. It was terrible. Incredibly depressed and turned to food for comfort. Went up to 165lb. Felt exhausted all the time.
Summer 2011: Went to Spain to work at a music camp. Had a mile walk from my flat to work every morning and a mile back home in the evening. Didn't eat processed foods because I had a true kitchen to cook in and lived with a great group of health-conscious girls. Dropped down to 145lb and was feeling good about myself again. I had to go buy all new clothing in a size 6/8 because my old clothes were too big.
Fall 2011: Maintained until Christmas time when yet another boyfriend dumped me. Went home for Christmas and managed to put on 15lb in two weeks. Yikes. Back up to 160lb. Still toned from extra gym time but clothes were getting tight.
January 2012: Met the love of my life. And he loves food. Not cheap crappy food, but quality food. The kind with sauce and cheese and all the fixings to make it yummy. And we eat together. A lot.
October 31, 2012: Halloween. Still with the love of my life and still eating. Somehow have managed to reach 180lb. The heaviest I have ever been in my life. And today, this morning, it is cold. None of my winter clothes fit from last year at 160lb.
This is why I have to take control of my body. I want to lose 50lb. That is a lot of weight. I tell dear boyfriend this and he asks where it will all come from. Oh, it's there. Don't you worry, dear. Hopefully by July I can be down at least 30lb. And by next Halloween, I want to have lost the entire 50lb. It's going to be difficult. I will have to sweat and do laundry and not eat any candy tonight.
Each day, or every few days, I'm going to post about what I'm doing. What I eat, what my exercise is, what my weight is.
Here Goes.
Love for my body,
Julia
SW: 180
CW: 180
GW: 130
